Dear Abby: Ep. 3; Jimmy Kimmel Joins Bachelor

Sorry for the super delay in recap this week, but I’ve been out of town so I didn’t get to watch the episode until last night.

So, for those of you not able to catch up before tomorrow nights episode, here is the gist of what you missed:

Jimmy Kimmel joins the show

This week production brought in none other than

THE JIMMY KIMMEL to help spice up the show a bit.

Kimmel opens up the episode by introducing a new prop to the house… the “amazing” jar. The rules are simple, every time someone uses the word “amazing” they are supposed to put a dollar in the jar. Basically, this is productions way of forcing the girls to open up a thesaurus and come up with a few synonyms to describe the dates.

First One-on-One Date:

Jimmy sends Kaitlyn and Chris to an “exclusive club”, aka Costco, to buy food to cook him dinner with. The producers then recruit a few little girls to push the couple down the aisle in a big blow up ball, which they then make out in. #keepinItClassyInCostco

Back at Kimmel’s house, the 3 partake in some awkward conversation about the fantasy suite, threesomes, and the fact that Chris couldn’t give a good speech to save his life. Jimmy’s exact words “You have a way with words. Are there people on the farm or just animals?” Ha! You’re great Jimmy.

Back at the house, Britt, Becca, Jillian, Tracy, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Amber, Ashley S, Juelia, Samantha, Nikki, and Carly’s names are on the date card which reads “Are you ready to meet some real party animals?”

Today’s competition is called a “hoedown throw down” which must be why Jillian wore shorts that showed ¾ of her butt.

The ladies must compete in five different obstacles consisting of: shucking corn, cracking eggs, milking goats (and drinking it), shoveling manure, and wrestling greased pigs.

Carly walks away the winner and is handed “her first blue ribbon ever”….. ya know, like pigs get.

The evening portion of the night is basically just a series of Chris making out with one girl after the next.

Becca on the other hand, suggests that they wait to kiss.

“I need to earn it”

To no surprise, Chris awards Becca with the date rose, which should serve as a lesson to young girls everywhere…..

GUYS LIKE GIRLS WHO AREN’T EASY!

Second One-on-One Date:

Whitney is the lucky lady chosen for the winery date. However, two (very boring) minutes into the date, they “spontaneously” decide to crash a wedding, which (conveniently) is taking place right below the very spot in which they are sitting.

To her advantage, the cameras were unable to follow their every move during the wedding reception, which actually allowed them to spend real time together. In the clips we do see, it is clear that they have established an easy rapport with each other. We also see that Chris is excellent at the Lawn Mower move.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about Whitney up to this point, but she has completely won me over on this date. (Although I do have to say, she owes the 'Amazing Jar’ a lot of dollar bills). Other than her comment about her bouquet catching statistics, she remained classy and let the chemistry between them unfold naturally. Chris truly looked thrilled to give her the rose and thanked her for accepting it in a way that makes me believe she holds some power over him. Atta girl Whitney.

Cocktail Party (Pool Party)

Kimmel throws a wrench in things as the ladies find out they are having a pool party in place of the usual cocktail party.

Ashley I. must have had a truly phenomenal outfit planned for the night because she is visibly distressed about the change in plans. It’s okay though because she still got to wear her fake eyelashes and Indian Princess headband.

Once again, #Jillian’sAss is out the entire day, which means we get to watch a black box bounce around the screen for half the party. (My guess is that production gave her extra airtime this episode so that they could spend ample time in the editing room)

On the other hand, someone needs to fill Juelia in on what makes for proper party conversation. Because last time I checked, dragging a guy away from other women to tell him that your husband committed suicide didn’t exactly make you the life of the party. Maybe that’s just me though.

Next up, we have sweet little Jade come out of nowhere in a bikini and white patent heels (noooooo!!!) to ask Chris to give her a tour of his place. She then jumps on to his bed and practically begs him to make out with her.

Why make him earn it when you can just lay it all out there, right? Wrong.

No brownie points for you Jade.

Cue some very awkward make out sessions followed by other girls crying, and then we have to say bye-bye to Kimmel.

But before he departs, he gives Chris the best advice I’ve ever heard:

“Whatever you do, don’t be yourself. Be someone who gives better speeches.”

Now that is something that warrants the word amazing.

Yeah, I’ll put a dollar in the jar.

Staying with us another week are:

Kaitlyn, Whitney, Becca, Jade, Samantha, Juelia, Mackenzie, Jillian, Kelsey, Britt, Megan, Carly, Ashley S.,